April 12

Along with birthdays and anniversaries, April 12 will always be a significant date for me.  April 12, 2011 was the day I went into preterm labor, 17 weeks before my due date.  After five full term children, I never imagined that I would go into labor months early.  I still think about that day, although not as much as I used to.  But lately, of course, I have been thinking more and more about it.  I still find myself asking the 'what if' questions.  What if I had gone to the hospital the night before when I wasn't feeling well?  When I woke in the middle of the night and felt fluid leaking, what if I had gone to the hospital then instead of changing and going back to sleep?  Instead of waiting for my doctor's officer to call back, arranging for child care and taking a shower, what if I had left for the hospital immediately upon waking at 6:00 am when I began to feel contractions?  Would any of these things have made a difference?  I'll never know of course, but will probably always wonder.

As difficult as that day was and the memories that are associated with it, all I have to do is take one look at Veronica to bring me back to a better place.  She is a constant reminder of how incredibly blessed we are.  We could not have asked for a better outcome.